I started the week with the first Crash Course Chorus rehearsal. As usual, I was nervous before I got there, but the nerves went away almost immediately after showing up. That lack of information can be a killer. I realized pretty early that I was out of my depth as far as singing ability is concerned—it seems like many of the others are trained singers and many also have choir experience. I may not sing exactly on key, or know how to read sheet music, but I won’t let that stop me.

Close-up of my upper arm with two cartoon animal Band-Aids, one above the other, after getting my flu and COVID vaccines.

Double vaxxed.

Unfortunately, I had to miss the second rehearsal because we traveled home to Louisiana at the end of the week. We got back last night. I balked a bit at writing “traveled home” there, because it doesn’t feel like home anymore. There was a time when we would go back and I’d feel wistful or nostalgic about the landscape and the towns, but not anymore. I feel out of place there, and not just geographically.

I can’t fully be myself there. I’m performing. Wearing a costume that looks like who my family thinks I am or should be. There’s a bit of the real me in there, and when pushed, I’ll reveal it, but for the most part I stay hidden. That just doesn’t feel good.

It’s not all bad. I love spending time with my nephews. One of them even said I’m the number one uncle, but that’s mostly because I know about video games and can write code.

So now it’s Tuesday. I’m home, but not back at work yet. I like to have a buffer day between a trip and returning to the real world.

Things I enjoyed this week