Looks like I forgot to do this last week, which is a good indicator of my mental state. It’s not good. Let’s focus on the positives, though.
Yesterday I performed in my first-ever choir concert with the Crash Course Chorus. We practiced five songs for five weeks, and yesterday we sang them to a packed house. It was amazing.
Many of the people in the choir are trained singers or have sung in choirs before, but not me. That didn’t matter though. Yesterday we all sang together and made beautiful music. I’ve been missing experiences like this for quite some time, and it was genuinely a gift to have one again. I will definitely be signing up for the next crash course in the spring.
In therapy, I’ve been learning about attachment styles, shadow work, and Jungian complexes. I’ve been pairing that with Buddhist teachings on becoming comfortable with uncertainty. I’ve been working at the micro level on how I approach relationships, learning not to respond to every anxious thought. Not every thought is an emergency that requires action. At the macro level, I’ve been trying to understand where my anxiety and complexes come from. For the first time in three months of therapy, we talked about my family and childhood.
I’ve developed some slogans to help me on my journey:
- Participate don’t produce
- I can want more without pursuing more
- Slow down without closing down
Things I enjoyed this week
- I saw the movie “Wicker” on Sunday and was very pleasantly surprised. It’s more than a dumb sex comedy.
- This version of Ber’s “Good Like it Should Be” recorded live at Bull’s Horn, a neighborhood pub near me.